Looking to music that matters for advice on breaking up the band
Popology Lessons by Kris Fisher
Where do I go from here?
I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately – and here is why. The last couple of years have been transformational for me. Last year, my wife and I made the incredibly difficult decision to part ways. There’s no need to get into details. It’s divorce. It’s ugly, unfortunate, and heartbreaking.
Later that year, my daughter moved out, eager to start her life as an adult. Earlier this year, my boys moved out, one to start the adult chapter of his life and the other to chase his dream of playing football at a collegiate level. So, if you’re keeping up, that’s four people that have jumped ship in two years. Not just any four people, but the four most important people in my life.
I feel a little like Lord Helmet, left to die with his ship after everyone abandoned Spaceball One.
OK, so it’s not THAT dramatic. People go through this all the time. There’s no impending explosion and I still have my dogs. But how do people go through it? There’s not really a how-to manual, a “Being an Empty Nester for Dummies” and to be honest, I don’t know what to do with myself.
The hardest part has been realizing my kids don’t need me as much as they used to. I didn’t know how much I had been leaning into that. But I must be honest with myself and realize that is a new reality. It’s the natural progression of life. If I have done my job as a father correctly, they will need me less and less.
So, that leaves me with, well, me.
Now what?
Moving on from the biggest band ever was probably daunting as well, but John, Paul, George, and Ringo each found happiness in their individual lives after the Beatles. Even Jimmy Page and Robert Plant were able to move on and have famously vowed to never reconnect as Led Zeppelin. So, what does that look like for me? What does my life look like now that we are breaking up the band?
In my twenties it was easy. I’d just do whatever I want. But time has passed, and I feel like a completely different person. I’d do whatever I want, if I knew what that was.
I’m doing my best to look at this chapter of my life as an adventure. I get to discover new things and take a new fork in the road, which is honestly one of my favorite things to do.
People split from their tribes every day and things work out just fine. I think my first step is to stop thinking of the end of that chapter and focus on starting the new one. I think I’ll be fine. Bobby Brown did just fine after New Edition split up. Timberlake did fine without NSYNC, and every member of the Wu-Tang Clan went on to do great things on their own. Even Lord Helmet survived the explosion, finding himself on the Spaceballs version of The Planet of the Apes, ready to start his new chapter.
Life is funny like that. It’s going to move along whether we’re ready for it or not. I was absolutely not ready. But ready or not, it is time to turn the page.