Trump often uses hyperbole as a strategic tool

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I did not create the title, but it is a moniker I enthusiastically embrace and enjoy - the Trump Whisperer. 

I dig it. 

My innate ability to take both the formal and informal declarations, comments, and occasional mumbles of our commander in chief and tell you exactly what he means, what he is trying to say, and the results he is hoping to get when such pronouncements are made. 

Before we list specifics, allow me to remind you that to some degree virtually all of us use hyperbole and metaphor to express ourselves, particularly in times of stress or strong emotion, positive and negative alike. Trump just does it on a bigger stage. 

This morning my wife, during her usual pre-dawn weekday morning rituals, pronounced loudly not once, not twice, but three times, "I am going to beat your butt! Beat your butt! Do you hear me? BEAT YOUR BUTT!" 

One of our cats - probably Scout - did something. I have no idea what, because I was half-asleep in another room. It doesn't matter what he did, because he is always doing something he knows is a no-no and my wife always yells at him. Usually, it is a brief summation of the corporal punishment he is about to receive. 

But she has never, ever followed through. Not once. Not even close. 

In fact, if you listen closely after one of her early morning high-volume proclamations, you can hear Scout squeak ever so slightly as she scoops his fat fanny up into her arms for as many hugs and kisses as she can get before he squirms free. 

Had you been sitting in our media room – affectionately known as Rhodes Field - during any Steelers game this past season, you would have heard my own son scream, holler, and gripe about how he was never going watch this team again if they didn’t do one thing or another. The reader may insert any number of complaints here, most of them aimed at quarterback Justin Fields being benched in favor of Russell Wilson. 

But he always comes back. He better, unless he is ready to move out. 

Of course, I am no exception. On any number of occasions over the course of the 33 years I have been a parent, I have angrily described the whoopings, beatings, dismemberments, and so on, that both my daughter and son should both be expecting if they didn't immediately comply with whatever command I issued.  

Despite the bluster, to this day neither Christine nor Beau have been "beaten till the white meat shows."  

Now back to our President. 

Yes, this week he did say he was going to resolve the violence in Gaza, and perhaps bring peace to all the Middle East, by taking over the region in the name of the United States. He actually used the term "the Riviera of the Middle East" when he was asked how he hoped to develop the war-torn landscape.  

All of the sudden Canada and Greenland don't feel so special anymore. 

I spent about a day studying on this one. It was difficult to understand what he was trying to communicate with such a bizarre notion. Trump has never stated a belief in colonialism. In thousands of hours of public speeches and interviews, it never came up as a priority. But here we sit with the latest of several such proclamations. 

Were these musings serious, or just more hyperbole? Were they designed to remind foreign welfare recipients who provides the protection and gold-plated trade deals they have enjoyed for decades?  

Israel owes us bigtime and always will. The Palestinians and others in that region owe us, not only for keeping Israel on a leash, but also for keeping several madmen in the region from invading their neighbors and stockpiling nuclear weapons. 

Like it or not, the United States - with President Trump as our current figurehead - already "owns" Israel, Palestine, and much of the rest of the region as their protector and benefactor. You can throw Canada, Mexico, and Greenland into that pile as well. 

If we didn't exist, you think France and the United Kingdom would/could stand in the way of China and Russia bull rushing the rest of the free world? 

Trump is doing exactly what he did with NATO a few years ago, threatening the unthinkable if our friendly – although cheap and lazy – allies don't step up and shoulder their share of the load. 

Today NATO is stronger than ever, and growing The deadbeats of the group are finally paying up. 

In reality, there will likely be no permanent American ownership of Gaza. But, just like there have been military bases and American facilities in Korea, Japan, Germany, Iraq, and Cuba, Gaza may be a place we need to establish a strong presence in as well. 

Trump's grand plan for Gaza already has the world aghast and proposing alternatives.  

Imagine that. 

Just like Greenland, Canada, and Mexico have engaged and are cooperating with the Trump administration on a number of issues that have had the United States at a disadvantage in recent years, the Palestinians and their sympathizers are putting pen to paper and working up some alternatives. 

You can say a lot of things about "Big Orange", but you can't say he is slow to get international attention and action.  

Even out of power, his rhetoric was enough to force the previous administration - and other Democrats - to reverse their announced course on profound issues such as border security, fracking, and taxation.  

He was right, they were wrong, and the country paid a price for their misbegotten notions. 

He was right about the Wuhan Flu, too. 

So, let’s see what the seeds President Trump planted this week will sow.  

My money is on far more humble and peaceful Middle East leadership on the subject of Gaza and a cessation of countries allowing Hamas and her ugly siblings from ever perpetrating another October 7th attack. 

And that is a good thing.