Lessons Learned: Funerals Are for the Living

Funerals are motivational. I went to the funeral of a man I had never met last weekend. A close friend’s father passed away and, to be honest, I went more to offer support than mourn a loss.  

I wasn’t the only one. This guy lived in a small town, and it seemed like everyone in that town was in that church. It was clear he had touched many lives. It made me happy for my friend. He had to be proud that so many people loved his father. It certainly, as funerals often do, made me reflect on my own life. How many people might be at my own funeral?  

Who, I wondered, might sacrifice a Saturday or Sunday, or take valuable time off work, to say goodbye to me? More importantly, what might they say? Sure, people say all the good things at the funeral. But what about in the parking lot, on the way back to the car? That’s when the real opinions come out.  

For my friend’s dad, it was all good stuff.  

He was described as the type of guy that always had time for a conversation, conversation that came with a smile and plenty of laughs. People remembered him as a tough and dedicated family man who loved his wife, kids, and grandchildren fiercely. He worked hard and played hard, enjoying time with friends and family any chance he could. He was always willing to lend a helping hand to friends in need.  

That’s one hell of a eulogy. 

That’s when it dawned on me - this man didn’t care what people might say at his funeral. He just lived a life worth living, sharing moments with family, friends, and neighbors and really living in those moments. I believe that’s why his funeral attracted so many. He was genuine. It’s honestly something I’ve aspired to my whole life. I want to be “that guy” to as many people as I can. It’s possible I’ve worked so hard at it that sometimes I miss the point, which is to just enjoy living.  

It is not a unique perspective. There are hundreds of movies built around that theme - enjoy your life, spend time with family, and don’t work your life away. I’m honestly a sucker for them. But to really understand that idea, nothing beats a funeral. This guy had a packed church with a lot of crying eyes. He was an enormous loss for many people not because he was trying, but because he was simply living.