Milestones Mark Beginnings and Endings

“Well, my daughter is getting married next weekend.”

I said this to my editor, rather nonchalantly, recently. After a surprise exclamation - “Wait, WHAT?!” - he asked why I hadn’t written about the impending milestone. I agreed that it seemed rather out of place as my favorite topic is my exploits as a father and, obviously, this is a pretty big deal.

At the time, I couldn’t really answer. I write about almost everything. Why wouldn’t I have written about this? My first thought was that some things are just meant for the family - the inner circle.

That rationalization didn’t really make sense to me either. A wedding isn’t necessarily something that is kept under wraps, unless its teenagers running off against parents’ wishes or you are members of feuding families.

So, here I am a week later, finally writing about it. Until now, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I think, somehow, writing about it makes it more real and, as my more faithful readers may know, I’m having trouble coping with the fact that my kids aren’t kids anymore. But, if there’s been a theme for 2025, it is accepting that my kids have moved out and are moving on.

It's a very small wedding, just vows on a beach surrounded by parents and siblings, That does not mean it’s not a huge moment in all our lives. For my daughter and her husband-to-be, it’s the defining moment in their relationship. It’s the beginning of their individual lives becoming their life together.

For me, it’s the end of watch.

The last 19 years of my life have revolved around my kids and it’s a little difficult turning the page. I also remember my own wedding day and my parents not being very high on my priority list that day. It’s sad to think about, but that’s the reality.

It’s a little like being dumped: While I’m longing for the past, for daily interactions and my life revolving around everything they were doing, I understand they are moving on with a focus on their new journey. Just like a break-up, I’m doing my best to cope and move on.

Obviously, it’s not that serious. My kids aren’t angrily telling me to stop texting them and I’m not sending unwelcome bouquets and teddy bears in the hopes of reconciliation. We still have a very healthy relationship. It’s just different. I can totally understand those parents that get too involved in their grown kids’ lives. It’s hard to cut that cord.

Nobody really warns us about this part.

In movies and on television, parents celebrate when their kids move on - trading report cards and sports schedules for vacations and new hobbies. Maybe that’s the key. I mean, vacations and hobbies do sound more exciting than packing lunches and parent-teacher conferences. So, with a little practice, perhaps I will find a way to get used to this life-after-kids thing.

Pickleball, anyone?